*Discussing divorce with your children is a challenging yet crucial step in ensuring their emotional wellbeing during a period of great upheaval and transition.*

Whether it’s amicable or not, going through a divorce is extremely painful. And when there are children involved, it can make the suffering all the more acute.

It’s something no couple ever plans to deal with when they set out in their relationship, but divorces are sadly all-too common. The most recent release from the Office for National Statistics reveals that there were more than 80,000 of them in England and Wales in 2022.

Discussing divorce with your children is a challenging yet crucial step in ensuring their emotional wellbeing during a period of great upheaval and transition. Effectively communicating this change can significantly influence how they cope and adjust.

This guide offers practical advice to help you through what is an emotional and stressful period for all involved.

*It's advisable for both parents to be present during discussions about your separation, to demonstrate unity and shared commitment to your children's wellbeing.*

Choosing the right time and setting

Aim for a time when the family can be together without interruptions, allowing space for discussion and emotional processing. Holding the conversation in a familiar environment – such as the home – can help as it will give them somewhere comfortable to retreat to when they come to process what you’ve told them.

It's advisable for both parents to be present during this talk, to demonstrate unity and shared commitment to your children's wellbeing. This approach helps reassure them that, despite the marital separation, you both remain dedicated to your roles.

*Reassure your children of your unwavering love and commitment during this difficult time, emphasising that certain routines and aspects of their lives will remain consistent.*

Communicating clearly

Honesty is paramount when discussing divorce with children. Use age-appropriate language to explain the situation, ensuring they understand that they are not to blame. Avoid sharing unnecessary details, for example about the involvement of family law solicitors. And be careful not to assign fault, as this can create additional stress.

Encourage your children to express their feelings and ask questions, responding with empathy and clarity. Reassure them of your unwavering love and commitment, emphasising that certain routines and aspects of their lives will remain consistent.

Providing ongoing support and reassurance

The period following the initial conversation requires continuous support. Maintain open lines of communication, regularly checking in on your children's emotional state. Consistency in routines provides a sense of stability amidst change. Be attentive to behavioural changes, as these may indicate unspoken concerns.

Professional support such as counselling can be beneficial if children exhibit signs of distress. Additionally, coordinating with your co-parent to attend significant events together, like school plays, can reinforce a sense of normalcy and joint involvement.

Approaching the topic of divorce with sensitivity, honesty and a focus on your children's needs can significantly ease their adjustment. Children are incredibly resilient, and by following the tips outlined above, you’ll be helping to lay the foundations for a stable upbringing, even during this transition.