Has lockdown made you head to the divorce courts or brought you closer together? Recent statistics from ONS¹ show that one in four people during the pandemic want to change either their relationship,  job, or home. These are all major changes, but could true happiness come from making smaller adjustments to your lifestyle?

Leading author and  psychotherapist, Mark Newey, believes lockdown has been the ‘reset button nobody dared press'! Here he explains how to build strong relationships that last the test of time and provide long-term contentment.

Can you tell your partner anything?

Do you walk down the road and look at couples in their 90s and just see they're still in love? Do you wonder what's their secret, how do they do that? I think the answer is simple. You just need to be able to tell your partner anything. Sounds easy enough, but you must be able to tell them anything  without the fear of being judged, mocked, or making your partner angry. Think about it, a marriage or partnership should be somewhere you feel completely safe and comfortable, somewhere you can be open, be yourself and share everything as one. If that's not the case, then you have to look at the reasons why?

Self-Esteem

To be able to achieve this relationship goal, you and your partner need to have high levels of self-esteem. Having self-esteem is simply being comfortable in your own skin, that shouldn't be hard, but due to the pressures of modern life can be tricky. But, everyone should feel confident to be who they are with a partner, but if you can't, then think about this issue and work on your levels of self-esteem together.

Values

If you're looking to repair or improve a relationship, a good starting point is to look at your personal values. These are the intangibles in life, such as love, honesty, friendship, freedom, security etc. Try sitting down and writing down your top ten values and get your partner to do the same. Once you've finished, score the values out of ten and see how well you're doing. If you're feeling unhappy or depressed your scores may be low, which means that there's work to be done, but once you can see where the problems are, you'll know what areas you need to be working on. Share your results with your other half and see whether you share values, look at what the similarities and differences are and consider how you can understand each other better. Always respect each other's viewpoints, be proactive and think about how you can make a positive change: the small changes add to the biggest changes of all.

To discover more about how to look after your own mental wellbeing visit www.headucate.me. The site also offers free online advice to help people with their mental wellbeing, including a session on relationships, to sign-up, simply visit www.headucate.me/cv19-free-self-help-resources.

More About Mark Newey

Mark Newey is on a mission to eliminate stress, anxiety, and depression in a generation; he's a self-avowed revolutionary in treating these mental health conditions. After guiding himself through recovery from a breakdown and training in the neurosciences, Mark set up his own psychotherapy practice and over the last 20 years has helped thousands of people beat stress, anxiety and depression. He is now making his life-changing teaching available to reach a much wider audience via a revolutionary online programme, Headucate.me.

Headucate.me takes Mark Newey's 20 years of 1-2-1 experience coaching 3000 people to beat stress, anxiety and depression for good and puts mental wellness advice into an easily accessible, mobile-friendly, online programme to empower all to take control of their mental wellbeing.

Brand New - #inconversation

This week Natalie chats to actress and author Natasha Naomi Rea about the success of her memoir Me, Myself & Bipolar Brenda . Speaking frankly about her personal journey with bipolar disorder Natasha gives an in-depth insight into the challenges of living with this often misunderstood mental health issue. Natalie & Natasha also talk about the benefits of exercise and a holistic approach to managing the condition and Natasha’s work with Bipolar UK.