As we enter the next decade it seems more and more people are suffering from the crippling effects of anxiety, with financial stress, social media and pressure in the work place all being labelled as contributing factors. But what actually IS anxiety and how can we deal with its negative effects? Psychotherapist Marica Webley gives her professional advice on this increasing mental health issue.

“It’s a sad fact that many people come to me for help with their anxiety, each one of them going through similar experiences. 

If you suffer anxiety you may feel strange, a kind of ‘unreal’ and not with it.  You may tremble at times and you’ll be aware of a rapid heartbeat and irregular breathing. All of these symptoms can lead to bigger things like depression, a racing mind and tiredness, which may eventually render you disconnected from people and the world around you. You’ll stumble about your house, ruminating and trying to pluck up the courage to simply ‘live life’ whilst plunging deeper into the crevasse.

You’ll be utterly fed up with feeling panicky, which usually leads to the next stage – mental exhaustion. You become hyper aware of all your feelings and can think you are going crazy.   Both mind and body become super-tired.  Overthinking and over-analysing is exhausting work which rapidly leads to the final stage in this battle – emotional exhaustion.  If you’ve missed days off work, and any chance of a social life feels like climbing Everest in summer sandals, then you’ve potentially reached the finish line.

However, what I know to be true is that you can recover from this, no matter what level of anxiety or panic you have reached. (I should know for I too have suffered crippling anxiety.)   Now here comes the ‘but’…… YOU WON’T GET BETTER UNTIL YOU STOP TRYING TO GET BETTER!  Now I realise some of you will think that doesn’t make any sense, but if you spend every minute analysing your condition and trying to find reasons for it, you will get even more caught up in the trauma.

Accept the anxiety but put yourself out there, and do the things that bring you out of your comfort zone, safe in the knowledge that you won’t die from a panic attack. Only then will you know that you actually could do it, and despite the adrenalin rush you didn’t die and therefore can do it again, only next time it won’t be as testing.

Anxiety is a particular kind of hell but don’t see it as the enemy. Let go and live alongside it for the time being. Allow it to be part of your day and you may begin to feel some inner peace, which in turn will help you to rebuild the missing bits of your life. Remember this, most people will be anxious at some time in their life, so don’t berate yourself for feeling this way, and certainly don’t see it as weakness!   None of us are perfect and everyone has bad days. Life is really hard to live at times so expect battles every now and then. None of us escape this because modern life is messy and damned hard work!

Alongside accepting your anxiety, you can help yourself by using distraction techniques when the going gets tough.  It’s not possible to think calmly when your system is flooded with nervousness and fear. When you feel it coming over you, get up if you are able, and move about – make a cuppa,  have a bath, write an email, check your phone, exercise………whatever gives you a short window of calm by distracting your mind from the anxiety.

If you can learn some good breathing techniques this will really help you. Go online and seek out information on how your breathing can lower your heart rate and calm you down. If you feel so inclined, seek out the help of a good hypnotherapist who will help you develop a useful range of self-hypnosis techniques that are brilliant – especially at night time when you are trying to get off to sleep! Check out any apps you can download that help with the same thing, there are plenty out there that are free. 

Sometimes its really good to face your fears head on.  With an ‘I can do this’ attitude you may surprise yourself at what you can achieve.  For example, If your fear is driving on a motorway or getting in a lift,  then make yourself do it.  Then when you’ve done it, do it again the next day.  The more you do it (and you realise you didn’t die in the process)  the less scary it becomes.  

Think about your actual anxiety and what is happening in your body and you’ll realise its less frightening than you might have thought. Anxiety is often not helped by the accompanying adrenalin rush.  Lets face it, adrenalin is absolutely fantastic if you’re stood in the middle of the road and a bus is coming. A quick rush of adrenalin helps your legs run fast enough to get out of the way. It’s the instinctive  ‘fight or flight’ response that we don’t even have to think about, it just happens!   That’s great, but the times we don’t need adrenalin it’s a pain in the backside.  When you want to be calm for an interview, or a performance or speech, if adrenalin gets going it can really knock you out of kilter; BUT its important to remember that adrenalin rush is very temporary and you won’t die from it, its just unpleasant when it’s happening.  Anyone out there who’s suffered a panic attack will know exactly what I’m talking about.  However, the release of adrenalin into our bodies can happen even when there is no threat, yet it’s unnerving symptoms are exactly the same. The more you learn about adrenalin rush the easier it is to accept, and when you accept it, you will find it happens less and less.

If you are really struggling and anxiety has left a hole in your soul, then consider asking your GP to set up some counselling, or find a private therapist who specialises in anxiety.  Additionally, don’t forget the wonderful work of the Samaritans who are there to listen to you 24/7.  Their phone number is 116 123 and your call will be confidential and free. It’s always good to share your problems.

Who knows, maybe there’s a reason we’re all meant to do some paddling upstream against the tide?”

Marica Webley - Psychotherapist

For more of Marica’s self-help blogs visit www.calderdalecounselling.com. To arrange a consultation with Marica please email maricawebley@gmail.com.

Note: We will be discussing the symptoms and effects of Anxiety at The Capsule Beauty & Wellness Event on Thurs 5th Sept at Lamberts Lard in Leeds. For more information or to book your tickets please visit www.thecapsule.co.uk/events